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save me, from the ranks of the freaks, who suspect they could never love anyone
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October 2007November 2007
June 2009
to break
October 22, 2007
When you look up the word "break" in the dictionary you are faced with over 100 different definitions.
My personal favortie, "to dismiss or reduce in rank."
the male sex. the male, sex? the male sex!
How is it that the male sex is able to be so unattached, be so carefree, dare i say selfish?
Do females really have this innate motherly instinct?
By motherly instinct i do not presuppose some sort of need to have babies but rather the need to have someone there to care for.
Where the fuck would that come from anyway?
Does this prove the existence of some sort of god in any shape, form, or idea?
or is it a social phenomenon...oh i do smell a feminist conspiracy theory.
My own understanding was that care, (unconditional) love, trust, and any other emotion related to forming a real relationship were all givens. I believed that they were what is needed to build any kind of relationship, they were the foundation. No one, not even a good liar would be capable of falsifying these sort of emotions, as no constructor could build anything without a foundation. But i suppose i was wrong.
I'm at this point right now. I've accepted that I was wrong and now I'm trying to understand why...
why would one lie in order to build up a relationship with another HUMAN?
here's what i've come up with...
1) to get into ones pants. this seems stupid. in this day and age the good poonani is being sold at a unbeatable price on every street corner on every street, in every city....that is to say it is fucking free.
2) to get something out of the relationship. disregarding sex, what other thing would you use a person for? that is just stupid too. what else? money? you're a dick. attention? you're still a dick.
3) for the fun of it. take your god complex else where you sick, weak, peach fucker...yes i did say it, peach fucker.
Now because i have so much faith in humanity i don't see how any of these options could be possible. either I am missing something or I was right in the first place, the male sex is not a heartless, cold, jellyfish like being they are just really good at pretending. hrm...not sure yet.
Do females really have this innate motherly instinct?
By motherly instinct i do not presuppose some sort of need to have babies but rather the need to have someone there to care for.
Where the fuck would that come from anyway?
Does this prove the existence of some sort of god in any shape, form, or idea?
or is it a social phenomenon...oh i do smell a feminist conspiracy theory.
My own understanding was that care, (unconditional) love, trust, and any other emotion related to forming a real relationship were all givens. I believed that they were what is needed to build any kind of relationship, they were the foundation. No one, not even a good liar would be capable of falsifying these sort of emotions, as no constructor could build anything without a foundation. But i suppose i was wrong.
I'm at this point right now. I've accepted that I was wrong and now I'm trying to understand why...
why would one lie in order to build up a relationship with another HUMAN?
here's what i've come up with...
1) to get into ones pants. this seems stupid. in this day and age the good poonani is being sold at a unbeatable price on every street corner on every street, in every city....that is to say it is fucking free.
2) to get something out of the relationship. disregarding sex, what other thing would you use a person for? that is just stupid too. what else? money? you're a dick. attention? you're still a dick.
3) for the fun of it. take your god complex else where you sick, weak, peach fucker...yes i did say it, peach fucker.
Now because i have so much faith in humanity i don't see how any of these options could be possible. either I am missing something or I was right in the first place, the male sex is not a heartless, cold, jellyfish like being they are just really good at pretending. hrm...not sure yet.
who the what?
October 2, 2007
I'd like to think of this period in my life as the beginning of the middle. It almost makes the whole experience a bit more pleasant. More optimistic if anything. Things feel like they are changing and I can't help but want to write them down and pretend like there is a real purpose of doing this.I do enjoy making myself feel like my actions are important
and have some meaning.
I feel old, time feels like its passing me by. I have no purpose in life, that scares me while at the same time entertains. I don't know who I am and lost all motivation to try to figure myself out...I figure that comes in time.
note to self: write something about identity. maybe it'll clear things up (or at least make someone laugh)